October 7, 2007

I thought I'd look back 2 years and see what I was posting about.

1 John 2:27
But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you all things, and what he teaches is true--it is not a lie. So continue in what he has taught you, and continue to live in Christ.

The Filling of the Holy Spirit By Angela Thomas
There is a difference in the woman who is saved and getting by as best she can and the woman who is saved and living every day of her life filled by the power of the Holy Spirit. The first woman is a carnal Christian. And the second one is a spiritual woman. If we stay with our illustration, we’d say that the second woman is dancing. The first one continues to walk according to her old desires, and the other is being led by the Spirit of God. There is only one degree of choosing that separates these women. But as it turns out, one degree makes all the difference.
When you are saved, several things happen. The Holy Spirit has opened your heart to pay attention and receive the Word of God (Acts 16:14). God has called you and drawn you to believe in His Son, Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 1:24; John 6:44). The Holy Spirit has crucified the old sinful self (Galatians 5:24) and taken away the power of sin (Romans 6:6). Through repentance, the woman who is saved turns to Christ as her Savior and begins the process of setting aside the sins that have plagued her life. At the beginning of our life in Christ, we are spiritual babies.
Remember Paul’s words to the Corinthians:
Brothers and sisters, in the past I could not talk to you as I talk to spiritual people. I had to talk to you as I would to people without the Spirit—babies in Christ. The teaching I gave you was like milk, not solid food, because you were not able to take solid food. And even now you are not ready. You are still not spiritual, because there is jealousy and quarreling among you, and this shows that you are not spiritual. You are acting like people of the world. —1 Corinthians 3:1–3, ncv
We begin as babies, and it’s important for us to remember that God has great patience with new believers. He understands the weakness by which we begin. Just learning about grace. Only beginning to walk by faith and battle our old sin patterns. The very good news is that there is hope for those of us who struggle in earnest to become women of great faith. There is a place in Christ for the stragglers and beginners and stumblers.
But Scripture says that even though we come to Christ as beginners and stumblers and live a lifetime as just women covered by grace, from our gratitude for God’s magnificent grace to us, we are called to grow up in His mercy. To graduate from baby milk to solid food.
But becoming a mature, spiritual woman requires the next step of choosing. That one degree of difference is the way of becoming a woman of righteous confidence. The woman who is becoming spiritual is being filled and refilled by the powerful presence of the Holy Spirit. The abundant, full life that Christ promises in John 10:10 comes to us from the full indwelling of the Holy Spirit in us.
I came to give life—life in all its fullness.—Jesus, John 10:10, ncv
I spent much of my life as a believer not understanding the importance of the Holy Spirit in me and through me. So I don’t mean to make this too simplistic. I don’t want to insult your intelligence or make any assumptions. It’s just that many women do not live in this fullness. If I could take you by the hand and, according to Scripture, walk you step-by-step toward understanding the gift of the Holy Spirit, here’s the way I believe we should begin.
The way out of the rut and into maturity is the step from carnal living over into a spiritual life of growth and becoming. Spiritual maturity is a gradual process by which Christ in us begins to subdue our old sin nature and we become more in tune to the Holy Spirit. The fruit of the Holy Spirit becomes more and more evident in our lives as we grow spiritually. Old sins lose their hold. And all this comes to pass as we learn to trust Christ more fully as our daily guide and real friend. Believing that Jesus is for us and learning to live out of that kind of love. This process of maturing happens as we step over into the work of the Holy Spirit.
The first question for us is this: Have you made a conscious decision to step from a carnal life into a spiritual life? Remember, there is one degree of choosing that separates the carnal from the spiritual. Both are saved, one living in power and one not. Before you go any further, stop and consider your own choosing. Have you decided to pursue a spiritual life? Have you consciously made the decision to surrender your heart and your life for the filling of the Holy Spirit? On this day, do you need to recommit to a fresh start?
Your Father so very much wants you to live in power and confidence. He waits to give all that you need. Would you step over today and give your heart fully to the process of growing and becoming a confident woman by the power of the Holy Spirit?
____________________
From When Wallflowers Dance by Angela Thomas from Thomas Nelson Publishers. Copyright 2005.
Sometimes, you must stop thinking and and just start feeling.
That said, even the brainiest of intellectuals can live her life filled by the power of the Holy Spirit!

Catching Up

Summer is not my idea of a blogging season, could you tell?

Jackson and I have spent hours at the pool this summer--although it hasn't been very hot. In fact, the past three days have been in the mid-70s! Even so, we've gotten in our pool time. The trip to Estes Park with my parents and aunt was really great. We stayed at YMCA of the Rockies and man, that place is great for families! We were in Texas a couple of weeks ago for my youngest sister's college graduation and although it was a short trip, it was fun to hang out with the family.

Jackson's school is on a modified traditional track so he only has two months off in the summer & it went by SO FAST! He started back to school on August 7th--the 1st grade. I can hardly believe he is so big. So far, he is loving it. He has two weeks off in October and will go to Virginia with his Dad. Quite the traveler, this one!

I started back to school the last week of July and have adjusted pretty well to all the work that is involved. The classes are condensed into 5 weeks and so they are very intensive. I'm taking two right now and they recommend just taking one at a time. I can see why! I will be done with the two classes in less than two weeks. Phew!

Things are good here. I couldn't ask for anything more. Well, maybe one thing. In due time...

Ah...Summertime

I've never experienced a more beautiful summer than the ones here in Colorado.

The 1st weekend of June I spent time with my single mom friends in Keystone at a condo that was generously lent to us.

The 2nd weekend Jackson and I went camping near Steamboat Springs...on a lake.

And this weekend we're heading up to Estes Park with my parents and my aunt from Pennsylvania.

I am so enjoying having Jackson home from school when I'm not working. On his first day of summer break, I set out construction paper, scissors, crayons, markers, a ruler, and tape. While I had my morning coffee, he created a dinosaur. I was so proud! We've spent a lot of days at our pool and one wonderful day at a park that has a creek running through it. While the kids searched for crawdads, the moms lounged on blankets and chatted up a storm (surprise, surprise!).

I don't want to waste a single day.

Perfection

It's my vice. The pursuit of perfection, that is. I guess maybe I feel safe there. It feels safe to not screw up...and it feels safe to be an open book when there are no screw ups to share!!! Because, you know, I was all about exposure when I was walking through the fire 2 years ago. (2 years, I can hardly believe it!!) And obedience IS important to me...but obedience is very different from perfection.
I was starkly reminded not long ago that I AM NOT PERFECT. I was afraid at first, but then I realized that that means I need Jesus. Yep, still need Him!!! I am humbled, once again. I am reminded, once again, that I am no better than ANYONE ELSE. I remember, now, that Jesus came because I'll never get it right all the time.
When you're perfect, you can judge others. When you think you're perfect, you judge others. Yep, speaking from personal experience here!! On my most recent pursuit of perfection, I was judging others without knowing it. And then, I was judged. And it hurt...it hurt so deeply and the wound stayed raw for a long time. I was judged by a close friend, which I'm sure is why it hurt so badly. As I prayed about the situation, I realized that gossip only happens when you think you're better than someone else...and that's judgment. I am guilty of gossip. It wasn't until I was gossiped about that I realized I was gossiping too. Ouch.
God knows everything about me and He does not withhold his love from me. I now know how important it is to be honest about our screw ups...because they're real. They're part of who we are. Others can relate to us when we're open about the good AND the bad. But most importantly, God wants us to talk to Him about where we've failed and what we're struggling with. He already knows, afterall! But I know He so deeply desires that we share those things with Him. He sent His son to experience our suffering. In His death on the Cross, He participated in my suffering: past, present, and future. Who else has done that for me? I'm not going to pretend like I don't struggle...anymore.

I love my life!

Oh, the irony, eh? I literally think that almost everyday. "I love my life" or "I have such a great life". And truly, it is the perspective of life that I have because of Jesus. There are many who have more friends, more money, more vacations, a job that is WAY more fun, a cooler house, a better car, a husband who is also their best friend, smaller pores, less fat, leaner muscles, higher cheekbones, more eloquent speech, fewer wrinkles, or oceanfront property but without the perspective of True Life. No longer do I think, "If only I had _______, THEN I would be truly happy." I was beginning to fill that blank with "husband" but God quickly showed me that I was creating a false idol. I have Jesus. He makes everything more beautiful and gives me the Peace that all of mankind is striving for.
I am defined from the inside out. I used to be defined from the outside in. I can honestly say that I don't care what others think of me....they DON'T define me. Especially because what others think is in direct relation to what/who defines them and that is not in my control...AT ALL. God wrote an entire Book about His love for me. That's kind huge, don't you think? He defined me before He created the Heavens and the Earth. He's CRAZY about ME!!!! And you know, He's not surprised when I screw up. He doesn't ask me to be perfect. He knows it's impossible this side of Heaven. He just asks me to accept His gift of Jesus. Just accept it. Let it get inside me and transform me. I still don't know the enormity of that power. I want to know more of it!!
I SO want others to know that Jesus covered it ALL when He suffered so severely on the Cross. I want others to release their sorrow, pain, suffering, and stress to God. I hate that we hold onto all of our "stuff" when we don't have to!
Being defined by Christ means that I can say "yes" or "no" when that is what I really mean. I know that God has called me to a simpler lifestyle. I can easily get caught up in serving in several different ministries but that is not where God has called me. And so I can say "no" with confidence when asked to serve outside of where God has called me. That doesn't mean I'm not serving anywhere or only serving where I'm comfortable. It just means that I know I'm a better disciple when I'm not busy.
I am currently reading The Signature of Jesus by Brennan Manning. My friend, Barbara, from Virginia gave it to me 2 years ago. I read the first 2 chapters, but it wasn't what I needed to be reading at the time. Now it is! Love that. In Chapter 5, he writes about simplicity of life.
"The fallacy here is blaming the complexity of our lives on the complexity of our environment. How many people have told me they would love to live on some remote South Sea island or get back to the good old horse-and-buggy days when Sunday was spent visiting Grandma and Grandpa on the farm? It doesn't work because we bring our feverish, unintegrated selves to these remote places. Simplicity of life does not depend upon simplicity of environment."
As Christians, we are called to live differently. The world prides itself on busyness. A full calendar tells us we have great worth. We are deceived!
Today, I am blessed to only work 3 days a week. I have time each day to read God's Word, a good book, and reflect on it. I have time to read to my kid and let him read to me. I have time to talk to and listen to friends and pray with them too! I have time to sit outside and watch my kid play with his friends. I have time to marvel at God's creation. I have time to pray with a group of friends every other week for an hour and a half. I have time to go back to school to pursue more of what God has for me in the hope that He will use me to impact others. Those 3 days of work bring in just enough money to maintain my new standard of living. I don't have a fancy house or a fancy car and I don't have a wardrobe full of the latest fashions. I live minimally but I still live a lavish lifestyle compared to most of the world. I value time more than I do possessions. That's a choice I made based on the lessons God has taught me. I have no desire to keep up with the Jones's. I doubt they are living a life of peace!
I love the simple life!

Good Golly, Miss Molly!

Did anyone else's April fly by? Crazy how that happens.

So...in dating, I encountered the, "I have a fear of commitment and your having a kid intensifies it." Sheeeeesh. So I dealt with that and I'm (pretty much) over it. Lesson learned: someone's ideals don't necessarily indicate the state of their spiritual life & SLOW DOWN. So I've done a lot more thinking about Mr. Man of My Dreams. And the more I think about it, the more I want the quote on the right hand side of my blog to be true for me.

The end of the last dating relationship led me to ponder my future. And the fact that I don't know how long I'll be single. Which means that I need to prepare for being single for a long time. And so, ladies and gentlemen, I am going back to school!! I will be starting at Colorado Christian University in July (I'm pretty sure) to finish my BS in Organizational Management with an emphasis on Project Management. That, I will use in Go Green Clean (exciting things happening there!). And what I hope to do after I finish my Bachelor's, is to go to Denver Seminary to get my MA in Counseling. So right now I am applying for scholarships and financial aid. And if you'd like to contribute to my education, I'm totally fine with that. :)

Jackson is doing absolutely fantastic. He's a math superstar!! Takes after his Mama and his GDad in that area. He cracks me up regularly with his witty comments and comebacks. For instance: a couple of weeks ago, he had a friend over. This little guy DOES NOT LISTEN. It is exasperating. So, when we were getting ready to go to the skate park and I had told him 3 times to get his shoes on and go ask his Dad if he could go to the skate park and he STILL HADN'T DONE IT, I raised my voice and said, "Conner, GET YOUR SHOES ON AND ASK YOUR DAD IF YOU CAN GO!!!" Then Jackson looked at me, smiled, and said, "Wow Mom! You're a GREAT yeller!" and I stared at him with my mouth open trying to think of what to say...but he filled the silence with, "You should keep practicing! Practice, practice, practice and pretty soon you'll be able to scare me right up the stairs!". And then I just cracked up.

Jackson is now with George 3 weekends a month, which means that I've had to figure how to incorporate more fun into my life. :) I had my first golf lesson last Saturday and LOVED it! I meant to go to the driving range yesterday, but got caught on the phone. Next goal is to learn to rock climb. There are lots of indoor climbing centers here in Colorado so a friend of mine and I are going to be going soon. Jackson is learning to rock climb at school through the Outward Bound program and that is something I'd love for us to be able to do together. Every summer that I've lived in Colorado, I have vowed to go camping. NEVER HAPPENED. But, oh, it will be happening this summer. A friend of mine and her family go camping lots every summer and they invited me/us to go along anytime this summer. So I'll be going in June and I can't wait!!!

Yesterday I saw that they are preparing our pool for its opening over Memorial Day Weekend!! Hip-Hip-Hooray! I love summertime.

I promise to post the Identity devotional this week. :)

Truth is Freeing

Thanks to all of you who have left your comments and sent me your emails regarding your identity. I will be working on a devotion these next couple of days and will be sure to post it here.
Your responses were very, very helpful! I am excited to use parts of them as examples to share with others.
Jackson is with his Dad this weekend so I'm spending time doing things I don't normally get to do. I sure do miss him when he's gone! That boy is precious.
Hope you're doing well and trusting God for big blessings in your life!