Thursday, May 10, 2007

Forward Focus

I'm up before everyone else this morning...the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. The weather outside matches my mood.
I am, however, dealing with my feelings of anger toward George. I'm mad at him for being such a coward. I'm going to let myself be angry for a little while b/c I tend to see anger as a sin and so I've gone for a long time without letting myself ever feel angry.
I haven't decided yet if I'll let my friends know about this blog. Right now it is my private journal, a good way to get my thoughts out and something to look back at when we've made it through this trial.
Yesterday was a fantastic day for me. Jackson and I went to Charlottesville to shop for Mother's Day. First of all, we shared a burrito at Chipotle. That is a great way to start the day. I normally get a barbacoa burrito but sometimes it's pretty fatty so this time I got a carnitas! Even better with no fat. The weather was great yesterday...about 80 and sunny. Jackson and I walked around and picked out some gifts. I tried on about 30 items of clothing at Ann Taylor Loft (I love to shop and have not done so for about a year!). I didn't buy much because I don't need much, I just felt like treating myself to something. Anyway, while I was trying on clothes, Jackson sat outside my dressing room and read books. The retail gal kept coming in and asking at every door, "Are you doing okay in there?". Eventually, being the copy cat that he is, Jackson started trying to help the ladies. I was afraid he would look under the doors, but he didn't. He was a real trooper...he HATES shopping.
After shopping, we came home and I put Jackson down for his nap. Liz, his babysitter, got here and I left for work at JW. It was a slow night so they sent me home. When I got to my car, I called Sandy from church to see if she'd like to grab a cup of coffee and chat. I didn't reach her but left a message. I needed to find one more gift so I headed over to Kohl's...found it and headed to Target for a frapaccino. As I'm walking in the "out" door (which I never do), I ran into Sandy!! She saw me and stretched out her arms to give me a hug and turned right back around and we sat in Starbucks for about an hour. It was a great God intersection! Thanks God! She was so encouraging. I love our church the people there and part of me wishes I could stay here and that things were great with me and George so we could be involved in ministry at HBC together.
God just told me something. It's so obvious, but I couldn't even see it! I have felt that God wanted us to minister in some way at HBC, but now that I'm leaving I couldn't see what it might be. But now I know. I've got to share my story. My one desire for this community is that they'd learn to see Christ for who he really is and become open, real, and raw and givers and receivers of grace. Thanks God!
Well, that's quite enough...I'd say I got more out of blogging this morning than I thought was possible.

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