Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Peel Back a Layer


George moved out yesterday. He does not want to be married to me, says he has been living a lie the whole time we've been together, and can't do it any longer. He says he does not have the same views or values that I have and can no longer pretend to be someone he isn't.
Now is when I let go. I have to just let go and let God work in George's life however He wants to. It may be through me and in our marriage, or it may not.
This is the hardest thing I've had to endure. You know, we go through really hard things in life and have to buckle down and make some tough decisions. But most of the time we still have some control over the situation. There is NOTHING I can say or do to change George's mind. It is completely out of my control. I can only make decisions for myself and for Jackson. This is a really hard thing for me!! But I'm open to anything God wants to do in my life...anything He wants to cleanse me of or change.
A wise friend of mine suggested I "peel back a layer" and ask myself what it is I wanted from my marriage and talk to God about it and ask Him to teach me something about those desires. I know I need to be in prayer and the obvious task is praying for George. But I felt like God was asking me to go down a different path. When I shared this with my friend, "peeling back a layer" was how he advised me.
My parents were here visiting from Texas last week and we spent the long weekend at friends' lakehouse on Lake Anna. I'll post some pictures of Jackson as soon as my Dad sends them to me. It was great to get away for some rest and relaxation. It was also great to be with godly people who love my family and want the very best for us. Sheli, who lives at the lakehouse, said she'll be praying for God to put George in a hole. He needs to spend some time in the belly of a whale!!
You know, I do not know how I would survive this time without God. And knowing that thousands of families experience this on a daily basis makes me want to get the message out even faster that THEY ARE NOT ALONE! That yes, there is actually an evil power that does not want their marriage to survive. But that God is there, desiring to be the glue that holds them all together.
I'm exhausted. Thank you for praying for me and sharing your own trials and triumphs with me. I am praying for you too!

13 comments:

Adrienne said...

Em said that G needs a big spankin'. So, we prayed that God would get out His spankin' spoon...

Melody in MN said...

I'm praying for you and your family. I like the idea of peeling back a layer...

Anonymous said...

Praying for you!

Danielle

Anonymous said...

We are praying for you daily and will keep it up.

John and Kathryn

hollybird said...

Scripture says that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood. This is spiritual warfare, and you are wise to clothe yourself in the word of God and in prayer. I pray His protection over you and your son and over George as well, for he too struggles against the darkness. May God richly bless you all today and may His healing find your hearts.
your sister in Him,

lady2bug said...

Dearest Erin, George and Jackson,

I am so very sorry for all of your problems. Peter and I just got back from two weeks in Arizona visiting Kelly and Matt and am just catching up on my EM's. I am shocked and disappointed to learn he has made this choice to go on without you both. Of course I will keep you all in my prayers because that is the only thing that matters, ever. God is more than able.... The lifelong commitment to one's marriage is difficult, at times hugely painful as well as disappointing, as you know too soon. Conversely, it is filled with joy, and a sense of accomplishment as one lives out the promise to remain "until death do us part." Many times in my own marriage I felt little emotional affection toward my husband. Many times I wanted to bail, too. Turning to God I learned I must practise commitment, deeply, and today my relationship with Peter is not based upon the whims of the "flesh" (much like weather) which can come and go, but rather upon the promise I made so long ago to cherish him always, like God does me, throught thick and thin. Keeping one's promise is more important that pursuing self-gratification, although this comes more genuinely when one practices love as an act of will. The rewards are astronomical. I will pray that George be given a Spirit of determination to keep one's promise and to set aside any self-centered desires. May God then help him to see that this is what a man of character does. He places the needs of others before his own, regardless of how he feels at the moment, having confidence that God knows the heart, can see the future and the good there, and will give him what his heart most desires, trusting and practicing obedience all the while. Like Jesus, George needs to carry his cross, whatever that may be, in obedience to the promise he made to God and you. Jesus did not want his cross either, but look at what was accomplished as He persisted until the bitter end! I pray that George, as he suffers through the burden he is carrying, will find that only in his carrying of the cross, will he find his truest calling and joy in life!

Peace be with you! Love, in Christ, Aunt Irene

Anonymous said...

My heart is breaking... but I pray on in fervor and hope.

Praying for a nice big hole right now.

Alexis

loving my life said...

I am praying that George will be "swallowed" by God's truth. I am praying for all of you. Peace to you sister....

sherry said...

I am so sorry. I am praying for you, that God will give you peace, even when it doesn't seem that there could be any. My heart is so heavy for the both of you, I'm praying.

Debbie said...

Erin,

I am praying.

Cristine said...

Erin,

I was reading my daily devotional this morning and was blessed by the words of encouragement from Kenneth and Gloria Copeland:

"When you've prayed and believed God to change circumstances, based on the Word of God, then you are to begin praising and thanking Him in the midst of those circumstances while you wait for them to change.

There's power in praise--and it's a fundamental element of faith. If you praise God, you'll be able to triumph over every attack. Psalm 8:1-2 confirms that. The devil is not going to hang around listening to the praises of God. Praise shuts his mouth. So put it to work."

Please know that you have been on my heart and I am praying for you and George for total and complete restoration in your marriage. Put your strength in God and keep fighting for your relationship. Let friends and family support you and love on you as you believe God daily for a miracle in your marriage. Be encouraged and cling to the hope God has given you in your heart!

Anonymous said...

You've heard from your friends, maybe you should hear from George's friends too? And, yes, I am a Christian. So please do not dismiss my comments like you would a non-believers.

Maybe George doesn't want to change. Maybe he is perfectly happy being the man he is and you should accept that. Maybe he is OK just how he is. Maybe you convinced yourself he would be the man of God you wanted him to be. Maybe you didn't stop and listen to that little voice inside you because you were too in love. Maybe he spent years trying to be that person, and he is tired of pretending. Maybe you should stop humiliating him on the internet. Maybe he can be a great dad without being your husband. Maybe your paths are meant to be different. Maybe you should let him go. Maybe you need someone that shares your level of faith. Maybe the man God designed for you has been out there waiting. Maybe George deserves a break. Maybe you deserve to be loved completely. Maybe everything will be OK.

Anonymous said...

I believe in marriage and working with my mate to make my marriage succeed. If I were certain that my mate did not want to be married to me, I would not encourage him or her to stay married to me. Who wants to be married to someone who does not love you? Christian or not, that has to be a very painful way to live. I am a Christian. If my mate did not love me, I would let him or her go. But I would also do everything in my power to make sure that my children had as healthy a relationship with their absent parent as possible. Not all marriages work out, whether the participants are Christian or not. In marriages where there are children, though, I believe the kids needs must always come before the parents. If you look around you, you will see tons of examples of well adjusted children who live with one parent or the other or in shared custody. Has anybody on this blog thought about how George feels about any of this? I only see one entry. The rest are all obviously about Erin's feelings.


From another friend of George's