I was going to write about this anyway, but the last comment on my previous post has convinced me to write about this tonight.
First of all, God is my guide. I look to Him for guidance and to His followers for wise counsel. I have said from the beginning of this fight that if I feel that God is releasing me from this marriage, I will stop fighting for it. He HAS NOT released me.
Second, George has not made up his mind yet. He is still wrestling. That gives me hope. Hope that what I am fighting for will be won. I am not fighting for MY marriage, I am fighting for OUR marriage. I don't want to do marriage my way anymore, I want to do marriage God's way.
Third, Jackson "needs a mommy and a daddy in (his) house". This is what he told me the night George moved out. It is no fun for any kid to have his family broken apart. If there is any chance that we can heal our family, I am going to fight for it.
Look, if George truly wants to go on living as he has, then no-I don't want to be married to him. There is a chance that is what he will choose. I hope for his sake and Jackson's that is not the case. And I am not writing out the humiliating details of all the things he has done. I have written out the humiliating details of what I have done, however.
It is with a fierce love for my husband that I fight for him. It is that same fierce love that keeps this blog going.
I know the world's enemy would love for me to think that God didn't design George for me, that our marriage was a big mistake, that there's someone better out there for me. satan doesn't want me to fight for our marriage, he wants me to give up...HE WILL NOT WIN. God will get the glory NO MATTER WHAT.
I told George tonight that if he doesn't want to be married to me anymore, if he wants to continue down the path he has currently chosen, then I will let him go. He said he is not at that point.
I am so encouraged by the fact that God has laid my family on so many of your hearts. Thank you for holding us up in prayer and for standing with me in my fight for OUR family.