Thursday, May 31, 2007

Why Fight?

I was going to write about this anyway, but the last comment on my previous post has convinced me to write about this tonight.
First of all, God is my guide. I look to Him for guidance and to His followers for wise counsel. I have said from the beginning of this fight that if I feel that God is releasing me from this marriage, I will stop fighting for it. He HAS NOT released me.
Second, George has not made up his mind yet. He is still wrestling. That gives me hope. Hope that what I am fighting for will be won. I am not fighting for MY marriage, I am fighting for OUR marriage. I don't want to do marriage my way anymore, I want to do marriage God's way.
Third, Jackson "needs a mommy and a daddy in (his) house". This is what he told me the night George moved out. It is no fun for any kid to have his family broken apart. If there is any chance that we can heal our family, I am going to fight for it.
Look, if George truly wants to go on living as he has, then no-I don't want to be married to him. There is a chance that is what he will choose. I hope for his sake and Jackson's that is not the case. And I am not writing out the humiliating details of all the things he has done. I have written out the humiliating details of what I have done, however.
It is with a fierce love for my husband that I fight for him. It is that same fierce love that keeps this blog going.
I know the world's enemy would love for me to think that God didn't design George for me, that our marriage was a big mistake, that there's someone better out there for me. satan doesn't want me to fight for our marriage, he wants me to give up...HE WILL NOT WIN. God will get the glory NO MATTER WHAT.
I told George tonight that if he doesn't want to be married to me anymore, if he wants to continue down the path he has currently chosen, then I will let him go. He said he is not at that point.
I am so encouraged by the fact that God has laid my family on so many of your hearts. Thank you for holding us up in prayer and for standing with me in my fight for OUR family.
Blessings, friends.


Anonymous said...

To George's "friend" below,

A true friend would understand how sacred a marriage is and be giving 100% support to the marriage, not aiding in the divorce! If not for these two people that at one time stood before God and said "I DO" and commited to each other for a LIFETIME, but for this sweet little boy who is caught in the middle. I am a child of divorce---and let me tell you.... if this marriage can be saved, everyone involved directly with this family should be giving 150% to resolve the marriage. George--- get yourself back to family counseling! Through God and With God, You created a family! Be a man and take care of them! They need you now!

Debbie said...

Erin, I know you haven't chosen to fight for your marriage because it is the easy choice. What is easy is to follow the advice of George's friend from the last post. You've chosen the harder path, and you wouldn't be so strong if God hadn't given you that direction.

I pray that George's friends will rally around him and encourage him to choose the hard path as well. This is not a "banging your head against a wall" attempt to fix a bad marriage. Here is a woman who loves her husband and son and is ready and willing to make changes to benefit the marriage. Sounds hopeful and positive to me! If George doesn't take some steps toward working on the marriage, he will regret that decision for the rest of his life.

I would recommend that any Christian wanting to give advice on this blog pray hard before commenting. There is enough hurt going on in this situation without well-meaning people making it even more painful.

loving my life said...

I think at this point what Man says is unimportant Erin. Keep listening to God, He will be your Light.

Melody in MN said...

I continue to think of you and pray for you...hang on to your hope in Christ.