Saturday, July 21, 2007


I feel like shouting that today!
I am leading "Loving Well", a Beth Moore short study, on Wednesday mornings at my church. She started off the video talking about God's faithfulness and considering my Monday night/Tuesday morning experience, I was feeling really comforted by God's unwavering faithfulness.
During discussion I said I could repeat, "God is faithful!" over and over because it is SO true and it NEVER changes. He is faithful in enabling us to be like Him...He desires us to be like Him! So when we cannot love someone or forgive someone or (fill in the blank), He is faithful when we ask Him to step in and give us that loving or forgiving spirit.
God's faithfulness in forgiving our sins overwhelms me too. On Thursday, I was talking to George about how I feel so betrayed and abandoned and it HURTS...I said, "I don't deserve this!" and he said, "See, Erin, that's where you're wrong" and started to tell me why I am to blame for what is happening. I know that's Satan talking to me and I wouldn't hear ANY of it so I interrupted him and said, "No, no, I am not to blame for this. I have been very open about what an imperfect wife I have been but I DO NOT DESERVE THIS. No one deserves this....YOU, George, don't deserve this. I have admitted my sins and turned away from them and am trying to do what is good and right and I AM FORGIVEN, I AM FORGIVEN, I AM FORGIVEN!" I am a different person today, very different from the person I was just 4 months ago. And that is ONLY attributed to God's faithfulness!
After that conversation I sat in the bathroom and got the rest of my tears out and then cried out to God and said, "Please, God, Please!! Please let me go back to Colorado." And then He reminded me that HE gives me the desires of my heart. So I thought, okay, I'll pursue it and see what doors You open for me. Within hours, I had a job offer with my old real estate company! I was in awe. I would love to go back to Denver and just start selling real estate again. But given my situation, I know I need a salaried position for at least the next year. I was offered a very generous salary with benefits and monthly bonuses AND my former boss thought she'd check around to see if she could find a long-term housesitting job for me so we could have a nice, free place to live for a while!! Well, it gets even better. Yesterday the president of Fuller Towne and Country Properties (the real estate firm) called me to talk more about the position. It's a great package and I could have a fairly flexible schedule since I'm a single mom (I'm tearing up just thinking about how generous and caring they are). She mentioned that there is an agent who is looking for a personal assistant and that position might be even better for me and would pay quite a bit more than the other position. The agent who is looking for a PA is one of the warmest, most genuine women I have ever met and she is very successful. I think I would love working with her. So I told Heather that I'm interested in both positions and have nothing keeping me here, so I could come out any time. She said she's thrilled and will have the HR gal, Nancy, call me first thing on Monday.
Here's the thing. Sometimes I think we get so caught up in wondering where God wants us that we forget that God wants us serving Him no matter where we are. I'm serving Him here and I will continue to serve Him if I stay here. And if I move to Colorado, I will get right back to serving Him. His highest calling on us is to LOVE OTHERS. We can do that ANYWHERE!! Yes, I know that sometimes we are called to a very specific place at a very specific time, but the reality is that God is not hampered by where we are at any given moment. He can always use us. Most people are going through something difficult. And they all want to feel loved, they all want to feel special. Think about that when you're in line at the grocery store, or at the park with your kids, or out to eat and your waitress is taking a really long time. Let God love for you and when you cannot.
I want to encourage you, as I have been so encouraged by all of you. If there is something in your life that you want to change, and that change will reflect God's character, BELIEVE that He will help you with the change. His faithfulness is unwavering and unending. He is closer to you than your breath...He is ready to let His Spirit work in you. HE IS FAITHFUL!

Oh God, thank you for your love and faithfulness. Thank you for carrying me when I can no longer walk on my own. May my life always reflect your character and bring you much glory. Amen


Sheri said...

WOW! What a chain of events. Have you heard that song "I'm not who I was"? I just heard it in the car and thought of that song while reading this. I will be praying for God to guide you in the direction he wants you to go. You are right you and your family do not deserve this and no one does. Is that a pic from your porch in colorado? Gorgeous view.

Melody in MN said...

Hey there Erin,

I'm so glad to hear about your possible job opportunities. That sounds really great! I'll pray that God leads you to where He wants you. And I continue to pray for you, George, Jackson and Baby.

Laura R said...

I am so happy that things are going into place for you and your babies!

Please, please let me know how we can be helpful to you and your family when you are in CO!

H - still asks about her friend Jackson :)

I pray for you daily. Laura

Adrienne said...

You don't deserve this, no one does, but it is so sad that George is believing the lies of the enemy that he doesn't deserve forgiveness! I'll be praying for God's continued leading for you and the J man and baby.
Love you!