Sunday, September 30, 2007

bring the rain

I often find myself driving and steering the car with my knee because my arms are lifted, praising God while listening to music. Dangerous, I know...but at least my eyes are open!

Today Jackson and I were on our way to the book store after a nice hike, looking for pine cones to make bird feeders and Mercy Me came on with their song, Bring the Rain. Now, I've heard this song many times, but never really listened to the lyrics. I could not keep from crying while singing along as the words touched my heart and said exactly how I've been feeling.

I can count a million times people asking me how I can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me, can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You?
Maybe since my life was changed, long before these rainy days, it's never really crossed my mind
to turn my back on you oh Lord my only shelter from the storm But instead I draw closer through these times So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory!
And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of the dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain (praise God!)
You who made a way for me By suffering Your destiny So tell me what's a little rain?
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory!
And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring the rain
Holy, Holy, Holy Is the Lord God Almighty...

So, I found the CD at the's Mercy Me Coming Up To Breathe and I bought the acoustic version. Hold Fast is awesome too.

A big "Thanks" to those of you who are interested in Green Clean and those of you who purchased a skin care set. I am so humbled by your love and generosity.

And so many of you email me to let me know that you are thinking of me and praying for me and my family. Your emails make my day. And also, to those of you who email me asking me for prayer and bravely tell me about your own struggles, I think of you often and pray each time you come to mind. God IS your shelter from the storm. I pray you let Him hold you and love on you as only He can!!

So you can pray accordingly, George is no longer wanting to work on our marriage. After a really great counseling session last week, we had a disagreement that really needed to be worked through at our counseling session yesterday...but we didn't get to that session b/c George feels we are just too different to make this work. I fully respect his decision and am thankful that I didn't throw myself back into the relationship like I have in the past...because it didn't hurt so badly this time. The thing that tears me up is that I know Jackson wants his Mom and his Dad to be together. I KNOW that the best thing for him is for George and me to work like we've never worked on anything before at restoring our marriage. But I can't make George want to do that. Of course I still have hope in God and will wait and watch for what He plans to do in our lives, but I still have to prepare myself for being a single mom and for the pain that Jackson will endure. He prays every night that we will all be together again. It brings tears to my eyes every time because I don't know if it will happen.

I bought Angela Thomas' book, My Single Mom Life, today and in her introduction she writes, "Dear mom like me, I am absolutely sure this is not how it should be. The more years go by, the more I am convinced that my kids would do better with their mom and dad loving each other and loving them and all living in the same house together. But that is not my story, nor will it ever be, and so the question has become, how will this single mom live?" Sigh....

Thanks for keeping us in your prayers.


Anonymous said...

I read your post and saw that you are reading an Angela Thomas book -she is AWESOME.. She lives right here in Knoxville, so I have had the priviledge of hearing her speak in person a few times. If you ever get the chance to hear her in person - do it!! She is an amazing lady and she has such a strong love for Jesus. I would highly recommend her books Do You Think I'm Beautful and When Wallflowers Dance. They both really touched me as a young mom that struggles through the day to day of life. I am praying for you that God will give you the strength and patience that you need through this difficult situation and that he will soften George's heart. I will also pray for your sweet son..

weavermom said...

Still hoping for you that it will end happily, and grieving that it just doesn't look promising at this point. May God do a miracle for all of you.

I think it's wonderful that you are taking your situation and making the absolute best of it. I hope the book is a huge blessing to you!

Adrienne said...

We are praying, friend. So many things, but praying nonetheless.
Love you,

loving my life said...

I am praying for you....

SingerMamaMelody said...

Dear Erin,

My prayers for you, George & Jackson are continuing. May God give you His peace and strength each moment of each day. I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling right now...but my heart really hurts with you.

That song you posted is awesome, by the way...what incredible lyrics.

May God bless you today...

Kim said...

That song jumped off the computer screen and right into my heart!!! I even had a Mercy Me cd that song was on and didn't even know it. A couple weeks ago, I was told I have breast cancer. I am only 33 years old and have 2 girls ages 7 & 10 so you can imagine how this song spoke to me. I check your blog all the time and pray for you and your are a blessing to others and you will probably never know how many others you inspire to be faithful to God even during the hard times.

Jess said...

Know that their is hope and God knows the out come, He will be there. I have been in a place where I thought that there was no hope, my husband had an afair with a friend of mine. Coming from the other side,I can say keep the faith. Keep believing there is hope, George will see that in you. Regarless of his choices.

Michelle (wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, co-worker, and striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman) said...

Having walked that road at one point, with my heart grieving more for my son than for me, I pray earnestly for you. Each woman's "happy ending" is different in some way, and I pray that God will reveal yours in His perfect timing. Mine took two years :) Needless to say, God's timing was different than mine, but the work He did in that time in MY life made it worth the wait.