Hmm, it seems I may have left out some details. :-)
George decided to move back with us instead of waiting until he had a job. So he's back, living with some friends, and searching for a job.
Truthfully, I was hoping we would have a couple of months of physical separation...and I wasn't prepared for the termination of benefits and his lack of income. On the other hand, it would have been very hard on Jackson to be away from his Dad for an extended period of time. Still, it is extremely hard on Jackson having to split his time between 2 parents...it seems he was expecting us to live together in Colorado.
I am having a hard time being back in Castle Rock in a totally different situation than when I left. I am freer now because I am not trapped in a lie of a marriage. But my boundary issues are magnified and I am fighting a mental battle with myself. I have learned that I desire reconciliation no matter the cost. I think, though, that God is faithfully reminding me of how I have been hurt and what is truly good for me and what is not. George now wants to work on things...but I just don't have any trust left. It will take a total tranformation in his life for me to feel safe with him.
There is just so much junk that I wish I didn't have to deal with and it is pretty overwhelming. I am looking forward to going to church tomorrow for some corporate worship. I love talking to God in that setting. And I love listening to Him in that setting too!