Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Listening

Hi Friends,
I am continually humbled by how many people are praying for me and my family. Thank you all SO much and thank YOU, God, for being God.
Okay, so I went into Fuller yesterday morning to meet with the agent who I talked to a few times last month about teaming up with. As it turns out, she feels strongly that I should continue to be my own agent (instead of her Buyer agent) because of my past success in sales. She is, by the way, the 3rd person to say this to me in the past 5 days! Also, the market has slowed down considerably with the latest news from the lending industry. This slow down is only temporary, but this agent truly does not have enough buyers to support having a Buyer Agent. So I found myself in the office the HR director, whom I had spoken to on the phone many times, talking again about salaried positions. Once again, I'm looking at a transaction manager position and a personal assistant position. I have no idea what to do at this point. I know I work best for myself and that I can rebuild my real estate business, it is really just a matter of financial means to get me through the next 3-4 months. On the other hand, the personal assistant position is for a woman who sells $60 Million in real estate every single year. I would certainly learn a lot from her!! But let's say I give her a 1 year commitment: That is another year out of touch with my clients.
I'm really wanting to just listen to God and see where He guides me, but there certainly is some pressure to hurry up and decide!! I do, afterall, need a paycheck at some point. Right now I'm feeling like I should go ahead and interview for the 2 salaried positions and in the meantime, activate my license so that I can work with anyone who wants to work with me. :-) Anyone out there looking to move soon??
Also...I have felt that with all that has happened over the last year, that God is preparing me for something. Something. That's all I can figure, but I have also felt for the past 3 years or so, that I would be making a pretty big career change. So, I'm completely open to seeing how this decision will eventually lead me to something else. Oh, now the sentence is longer! Something...else.

Emotionally, I'm doing well. I find myself longing for a happy family and a baby. I wasn't prepared for being pregnant this last time, but I embraced it and was so looking forward to Griffin's arrival. Castle Rock is full of babies so everywhere I go I see them and they are so darn cute and my desire for a 3rd child seems to continually increase. At night I look at Jackson when he's sleeping and wish we could have seen Griffin at all the great baby stages. Jackson talks about him everyday. I'm so glad he does. When I imagine what Griffin would have looked like with hair, I picture him with golden blonde curly hair. I asked Jackson yesterday if he thought Griffin would have had straight hair or curly hair and he said frankly, "Curly". We're probably right. :-)

I have to tell you that it is so comforting to know that my God who I talk to all day long is looking at my son. And that my son has met my Saviour. He has done what I cannot wait to do...to see His face, to fall at His feet, and thank Him for rescuing me. And that, I hope, Griffin has met my Grandma, Marjorie, who was the MOST awesome Grandma in the world. These are prime Grandma years and mine was so loving and full of wisdom and I often think how great it would be to sit and talk with her these days. So I really hope Griffin is getting to sit and talk with her and become completely smitten with her!

6 comments:

Tara said...

Erin:
I came to your blog through Noah's and have been praying for your comfort and peace in the loss of your son as well as the healing of your marriage and family. Having been through some trying marital problems in the past, God can and does work miracles and brings change in the lives of those who believe and trust Him.
You show incredible strength and faith and He will lead you in the right employment direction too.

In His Name,
Tara

loving my life said...

You are loved by so many...

Stuart Cook said...

I haven't cried for you and Griffin yet, but the last paragraph would have done it for me -- but I'm at ACC between classes and I couldn't let myself. It does mean a lot to me that you got to know my mother all those years ago. And it is comforting to know that she can look after Griffin now.
Love,
Dad

Anonymous said...

I loved that you titled your post "Listening"....that surely is one of the hardest things to learn to do...to really listen to God and to learn to really hear what others are saying (not necessarily the words they are saying but what they are really saying.)
You are being loved and prayed for by many...including us!

Love, Kathryn for all Martins

Dena said...

Erin - I have no great words of comfort or wisdom but you have been in my thoughts and prayers daily after I read your blog..
Your strenghth has humbled me!

Laura said...

Welcome back to Colorado!
Glad to hear that you all made it safe and healthy.
Whatever choice you come to for your career will be the right one, you are so driven!
Love to chat when things slow down.