Friday, December 28, 2007

It's been a long time, huh? I hardly had time time to breathe during the 2 weeks prior to December 20th. Jackson and I left for Texas on the 20th and got back to Colorado last night. Yesterday was long and Jackson put it, "Mom, we've got to get out of this mess!". But we did have a good time with our family in Texas and it was wonderful to get some R & R. I'll post some pictures as soon as Blogger will let me.
I have been hesitant these last few months to post much about my marriage. I didn't want to create a barrier that would keep us from restoring our relationship. But it seems that much of what I do or don't do makes no difference where my marriage is concerned so I'm going to give a detailed update.
Most of this post has been removed.

He was letting me take all of the responsibility and of course I am, because I'm a mom!! So far I have not received child support since October 4th when he gave me about 60% of that month's support. I am selling things left and right to keep up with the cost of supporting myself and Jackson and I'm cleaning about 4 days a week and working real estate the other 3 days plus all evenings after Jackson goes to bed. I am thankful that I have the ability to work hard but it is taking everything out of me. And I can't live in Scott's house forever...we'll need a place of our own soon. I'm writing about this because I have a new understanding of what it means to be a single mom. Please, if you know a single mom, do what you can to help her. It's hard to ask for help because I don't want to interfere with my friends' lives, but I don't have family here to ask. And I only have one kid! I can't imagine what's it's like for single moms with more than one kid who work 5 days a week and are solely responsible for the livelihood of their families. Emotionally, it is hard to be without a partner and to constantly worry about how your kids are handling the divorce. Physically, it's hard to be responsible for a house, the yard, the car, yourself, your kids, and your bills. Mentally it's hard to parent alone, to make decisions alone, and to be the sole bread winner. Single moms are amazing!!!
I will be starting DivorceCare next month and have heard that it is an amazing program and very helpful in embracing forgiveness. I still have a soft spot in my heart for G and pray daily that he will become humble, loving, kind, and responsible. We go to court January 7th to receive our divorce decree.
I have a lot more on my heart but I will continue at another time. This post is already a novel!
Merry Christmas and I pray that all of you reading will embrace the message that God sent us through his son, Jesus Christ. God's kingdom is at hand, it is available, you need only believe it and start living a transformed life. Happy New Year!


loving my life said...

I understand completely what your going thru. I pray that you will continue to recieve healing from this awful situation and that God will continue to work on George's heart as well as yours.
Happy New Year.

Vicki said...

I am a single mom of 2 young ones and you hit it right on the head. It's very hard and it seems diffucult for people around you to understand that. I have also been through Divorce Care and it is great. The course itself is very helpful but getting together with other people in your same situation was the most beneficial for me. Good luck with everything and we've got a new year ahead of us.