Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Griffin Jacob

Today was Griffin's due date. It is hard to believe that under other circumstances, I would be preparing for my baby to come home.
Last night Jackson caught the end of a news story about a kindergartener who was killed by a falling flat screen TV. He was so sad about it and concerned for the boy who died, so we prayed for the boy and his family. I prayed first and then Jackson prayed a precious prayer. Afterward he said, "Mom, when will our baby come back to Earth?". I said, "Well, when Jesus comes back."
I was looking through pictures the other day and there were a lot that I took of Jackson in Virginia. I literally become sick to my stomach when I think of our time there. I also hate that Jackson has had to endure what he has. There have been a few times in the last week when someone has said, "So you just moved back from Virginia, right?". I feel my chest constrict and my stomach start to churn as soon as the statement has been said. I am so glad to be back in Colorado and out of that hell. I am grateful for all that I've learned and for the wonderful friendships that I had the opportunity to develop while I was there. But I certainly don't like to spend too much time thinking about all that went on during that time of my life.
I think about Griffin everyday. I'm not usually too sad, but a couple of times a week it's as though grief slaps me in the face. It only lasts a few minutes, but it always takes me by surprise. I'm definitely looking forward to getting to know him someday!


loving my life said...

I am so sorry, I can't imagine how hard that must be. I'm praying for you.

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SingerMamaMelody said...

Dear Erin,

I'm just catching up on your blog. I am praying for you that God will give you His peace as you miss Griffin, and as you're going through the divorce. I'll also pray that your time of sharing goes well this Saturday. May God speak through you mightily.