Friday, January 18, 2008

Interesting thing about a blog...

Is that it's a place for the blogger to write about whatever the heck he or she wants to write about. I, personally, have chosen to be quite vulnerable and express my feelings through what has been the hardest life lessons I have had to learn so far. Recently I have received some incredibly insensitive comments that have hurt me deeply. 2 of them were on the post titled Griffin Jacob, the son that we lost. The comments imply that I deserve what I have endured. That I am a fake.
About 10 years ago, I hurt a friend of mine. We weren't very close, but that doesn't matter...what matters is that her feelings were not put first and she was hurt. A few months afterward, I expressed to this friend my regret in hurting her. She forgave me. I was 21 years old and have learned a lot since then.
I certainly do not claim to be a good Christian. I claim to love and serve a God who unselfishly lavishes love and grace upon all of humanity. I often do not serve him as well as I would like to. I mess up all the time. And that is why I am so crazy about God. He is my maker and he loves me just the way I am. He wants what is best for me and has given me a masterpiece filled with hope and guidance for a joy-filled life. And I don't deserve it at all.
I'm not sure if the person writing in pursuit of hurting me is feeling like they need to defend the person I was married to for 6 1/2 years...but rest assured that those who know me and who read this blog without hatred know without a doubt that I love him. I care deeply for him and that is why my heart has felt so much pain.
So I will continue writing about my journey. It's a journey filled with mistakes, grace, forgiveness, and lots of love. But most of all my journey is one of hope. And I pray that it continues to be a testimony to others that God can restore even the most hopeless of situations.

14 comments:

Pastor Linda said...

I'm so sad you received hurtful comments. I appreciate your openness and honesty. You challenge me to be more devoted to Jesus Christ. I know how to pray for you. And I experiencce life from your perspective. Thank you for continuing to share in spite of insensitivity - intentional or unintentional.

loving my life said...

Erin,
Sometimes people feel the need to be heard, in a way that is very destructive to the audience. Usually the person talking is the one who needs to listen to their own advice. Pot calling Kettle, so to speak. I know all about people giving their opinions blindly, trying so hard to be "heard".
I am so sorry your feelings were hurt becasue of it. That is dirty ole satan using them to make you feel unworthy.
You are worthy friend.....

weavermom said...

I'm so sorry that people have been hurtful, and I'm glad you are planning to keep writing.

Your comments remind me of this post that I read yesterday:
http://penlesswriter.blogspot.com/2008/01/making-mark.html

Sheri said...

I am sorry someone was so hurtful to you. Thank you for all of your encouraging words. Praying for you.

Inkling said...

I don't think I've commented before, but I found your blog through your friend Adrianne, and have been reading ever since. You are often in my thoughts and prayers. So often I realize that your story could have been my story, but fortunately (though my heart didn't feel that way at the time) the man I was with left me (twice) before we could be married. But when you share from your heart about what you've gone through, I recognize some very similar feelings and happenings. Honestly, you handle it with courage and grace, and you teach me so much as you share and allow yourself to be vulnerable on this blog.

I'm sorry you've had unkind comments. It seems that is more common these days in blogland, and I don't always understand the motivation. Usually, I comment when I overwhelmingly agree or am touched by someone's post. I try not to open my mouth when I disagree, believing that the writer is expressing their thoughts on their own space, and that my words don't need to be uttered. Sometimes I wish others had that same rule. =) And I wish they had a chance to remember that we all have a story, and we all have hidden workings in our hearts that others don't have a right to judge.

I'm sorry you got hurt, and I hope your heart feels healing soon, and that you find joy and healing through your writing and the impact you get to have on those of us who read whenever you have time to write. And like the other commenters said, I am glad you keep on writing. You have so much to offer!

Penless Thoughts said...

Erin, Thank you so much for your comment on my blog about Leaving Our Mark. I came to your blog and was so touched by what you wrote today that I have just spent hours reading your entire blog.

I am touched with your story!!! I am touched with your strength!!! But most of all I am touched, once again, with OUR GOD and OUR JESUS and how He works.

I KNOW you will keep leaving your mark and let the erasers come....they cannot erase what Our God has, and IS, doing.
Susan

Dena said...

Erin

People can be so cruel for so many reasons but usually I have found that it's a problem with themselves and hurting others makes them feel superior...You certainly have endured more than most people could and still remain standing - your strenghth is amazing and God is using you for something incredible - hold your chin up and try not to let people get you down!

nancygrayce said...

I'm so sorry...just keep your chin up....sounds to me like you're gonna be just fine. Speaking as one who's been there, it hurts so bad....but God helps so much. God bless you!

Stephanie said...

Erin,

I am so sorry. You have been so brave by opening your heart here and I, for one, am grateful for that. God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers.

SingerMamaMelody said...

Dear Erin,

I too am sorry that people have said hurtful things to you. Know that you are appreciated and loved. Thanks for your open & honest heart. May God give you strength & peace today.

Michelle (wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, co-worker, and striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman) said...

I so resonate with your comments: "I certainly do not claim to be a good Christian. I claim to love and serve a God who unselfishly lavishes love and grace upon all of humanity. I often do not serve him as well as I would like to. I mess up all the time. And that is why I am so crazy about God. He is my maker and he loves me just the way I am. He wants what is best for me and has given me a masterpiece filled with hope and guidance for a joy-filled life. And I don't deserve it at all."
Grace, unmerited favor, is available to us all, if only we would receive it. I pray for those who feel the need to judge. I have judged unfairly at times...as you stated, we all mess up. I praise God that He points out to me when I do so I can lay it at His feet, ask forgiveness, and receive that grace instead of ultimate judgement. (Doesn't meant there aren't consequences, but forgiveness is all I need in the end.)
Thanks for sharing your life. It has impacted me in immeasurable ways.

Owl mama said...

I came across your blog on just a whim... wow! How mighty is the Lord that He can direct us to those we need to hear. I have a sister in law that has gone through a divorce after 16 yrs. She is my friend and sister in Christ. I stand in stunned silence that my brother has done this to her and their children. It has broken our family to pieces but God is faithful and He has tied us together though the court says we aren't anymore. Keep posting... keep venting or letting out the pain ... keep reaching out and up... ever up...
I pray for your situation as I have for our family's... press on.

Mom Of 3 said...

I am not sure how I came across your blog, although I dont comment. Please know that there are those people who dont feel the hurtful things that were left for you. You are a good person, and yes this is your blog to say what you want. Do let those who feel the need to try to bring you down get to you. Keep posting, know that you restore my faith!

Mom Of 3 said...

I am not sure how I came across your blog, but I read and am restored in my faith by your postings. Please dont let others try to bring you down. People can be mean and ugly sometimes. Know that there are those of us that support you and think you are a great women, and a great mom.