Monday, January 14, 2008

Quick Note

Jeepers, I wish I had more time to post!
Thanks to those of you who have been praying...knowing that we went to court last week. The process isn't quite over yet but should be by January 29th.
I have been asked to speak at a Mom's Day of Prayer this coming Saturday, the 19th. I am one of 3 or 4 mothers who will be sharing their stories. I am really excited for this and have a pretty good idea of what I will be sharing...of course, I'd still love your prayers for God's message and love to shine through my story.
I wrote a response to a friend of mine who is going through a rough time and is hoping that this is the beginning of becoming a new person. I want to share with you what I wrote:

So...on becoming a new person. It's kind of indescribable. For a very long time...I guess about 10 years...I thought I understood Christianity. I thought I knew the formula for being a good Christian. In the fall of 2006 I did a phenomenal study of Romans and I finally started to comprehend grace. And that's when I started realizing that my approach to Christianity was backward. I started to loosen up a bit after that. And then when the rug was pulled out from under me last year, I thought, "Okay, everything must change. If I am not a successful Realtor, if I am not a beloved wife, who am I? Who does God say that I am?" And that's when my hunger for God's Word became insatiable. I couldn't get enough of it. I realized that my external circumstances could change at any time and so I had to be deeply rooted in the love of God. It's sooo hard to put what was happening inside me into words. But--when I went to the Word with that attitude, it read much differently than it had before. It didn't read as something I needed to understand correctly. It read as God speaking to me what I needed to know in that very moment. I knew that I would come back to those very words in a year or two and that God would be teaching me something different. I realized that I had failed my husband by not giving him the same grace that I accept on a daily basis from God. I am realizing more and more that modern Christianity has gotten very far from the teachings of Jesus. I had become rigid!! I couldn't even have much fun anymore. I realize that might be the opposite of your situation...which means you might actually be closer to becoming a new person than I was. The interesting thing about my situation is that I didn't think I was rigid. I thought I was open minded, against fundamentalism, radical even. But I was deathly afraid of sin. I didn't want to be near it. I didn't want to see my own sin. It's painful, but I now constantly look for the sin in my life. I believe 100% that exposure is the most freeing experience a person can have. Of course, that 's if the exposure is followed by repentance--obviously. Exposure-Repentance-Forgiveness. I have to be able to forgive myself. If God's not going to hold it against me, why should I?So...that's the best I can do right now. I realize your situation must be painful. I'm sorry. It sucks. I'm thankful that I can honestly say that the pain I experienced in Virginia might actually be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I hope that'll be true for you too! Love lots,Erin

3 comments:

Bobby said...

That encouraging conversation/letter to your friends reminds me of a great book I just read. I hope you have a nice week Erin! :)

loving my life said...

Wow Erin, your convicting me in so many ways. Thank you for opening my eyes to MY sin! It's so easy to focus on what others do. But when you get down to it, we are only responsible for ourselves aren't we?
God Bless you Erin, I pray that your journey continues to strengthen you.

Bobby said...

Well I was referring to More Ready than You Realize by McLaren. But I forgot you hadn't read that yet. My bad. Later gator.