Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Death of a Marriage

My heart is so heavy for married people. On Thursday I was listening to the radio as people called in, asking for prayer for their breaking marriages. After one phone call, the DJ played Held, by Natalie Grant. My heart broke for all of the people who are experiencing the pain, the feelings of abandonment and failure, and the shock that comes with a dying marriage. My friend told me today about a street in her neighborhood that has 7 houses for sale on it. These are not homes in foreclosure, they are homes of broken families. SEVEN on ONE street!
It saddens me that Satan is doing such a great job of breaking up families. I hate him. He is such a creep. The lies, oh the lies he tells. The world has bought into these lies at such a high price.
If only I knew then what I know now. Only God can satiate me. Only God can love me unconditionally. Only God can give me joy. How can my husband possibly live up to being God for me? If that is my expectation, he will always fail. The lies are in the little things. The "roles" that husbands and wives give each other (or take upon themselves). How can we have a joyful, loving marriage relationship when one is wanting to have power over the other? It just won't happen.
An author of a pre-marriage curriculum in New Zealand found my blog by googling "fight for my marriage" and sent me an email with some questions. He said what a lot of marriage experts say, "We teach that poor communication is the downfall of most marriages. Would you agree? If not, what do you think it is?" I said that I believe it is selfishness. We tend to place expectations on our spouses and when they're not meeting our needs, we get angry. The anger turns into resentment and we naturally turn to another source that can meet our needs...and if it's not God, it's not meeting our needs. The cycle continues on the road to divorce. Well done, Satan.
There are people all around us whose marriages are dying a slow and painful death. Most people don't talk about it. I am praying for those people. Please join me.

3 comments:

E said...

Have you heard of Emerson Eggerichs' "Love and Respect"? (loveandrespect.com) Our church is participating in this video conference after reading the book. It's heartwrenching to see all of the huge number of marriages who are in turmoil--christian marriages just as much as not. I agree that selfishness is a HUGE part. It's hard work, for sure! Love your blog!
Blessings!

nancygrayce said...

Each morning during our prayer time, my husband lifts the names of couples who's marriages are in trouble. The list grows. If we could only learn the Christ has to be the center of any relationship.

Bird's Words said...

this morning in our bible study class at church, I heard an INCREDIBLE story of how God has healed a marriage of 2 friends. It is so exciting to see this kind of life-changing transformation. I am so pumped up right now that I can hardly sit still. God loves healing marriages, and when we start to pray for them, that's the beginning. Thanks for this reminder!