Sunday, November 14, 2010

Well hello there, blog!

I'm rusty at this blogging thing. It's weird to think about how my posts used to just flow out of me with very little effort. Now I have a lot of thoughts, but none I would imagine anyone else would want to read.

I've been a single mom for 3 years. THAT is really hard to believe. I was thinking through these last 3 years last night and realized just how "normal" my life is now. I don't really think of myself in terms of my divorce anymore. Not sure when that changed, but it did. And I don't really think of myself as a single mom--even though I definitely am. I just think of myself as a mom, a business woman, a student, and single. Other things, too. And I realized just how fast and furious my transformation was. God taught me so much about who He says I am and who He has designed me to be in that year from hell that I've been blessed with a couple of years of really being able to share my life with others and help others learn what God says about them. Sure, I continue to learn more about myself and God along the way, but I really am thankful that God knocked a ton of sense into me in such a short period of time.

I think I may be in a period of transition right now. I started school over a year ago, thinking I wanted to eventually become a licensed professional counselor. Then, after 4 psychology classes, I realized I don't have the patience for therapy. But I do love communication and helping people learn how to communicate effectively and understand healthy boundaries. But I don't really want to get my MA in Communication. I have two people working for my at Go Green Clean and am about to hire a 3rd, which is really wonderful. I'm enjoying managing the business and focusing on getting new clients. I'm also working part time at my old real estate company, just doing assistant work for some brokers. It's good to be in an office again, seeing people and socializing. But neither real estate nor Go Green Clean truly fires me up. For a very long time, I was reluctant to be open about a desire I have to be a public speaker. But a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my very hunky boyfriend about this very thing and I admitted to him that there is something I really want to do but I've been afraid to say it out loud. I want to be in women's ministry and speak at retreats and other events about freedom in Christ, having healthy boundaries, and effective communication in relationships. There! I said it!

So now...what? Well here's a few starters: I am starting up Women's Ministry at my church, New Denver Church, I'm going to join a Toastmasters group, and I'm seeking wise counsel from a seasoned counselor/coach. Oh, and I'm blogging again. :) I'm really excited and scared about going down this path. Excited because I've had a desire to do this for years. Scared because I fear failure and rejection.

What's that? You're wondering about my hunky boyfriend? Okay, I'll give you a little scoop. In the last 2.5 years, I have had my share of bad dates and bad break ups. I had gotten to the point of not caring if I ever dated again. But then I really had to ask myself if I was okay with being single for the rest of my life--because, you know, if you don't date, chances are good you'll stay single. And the answer was a definite "No". Well, I guess I'd be okay with it, but it's not what I desire. So I bought this great book written by Henry Cloud titled "How to get a date worth keeping". It really helped change my perspective of dating from "I'm looking for a husband and I've already been married to Mr. Wrong so I'm pretty sure I know what Mr. Right looks like" to "I want to go on a lot of dates, meet a lot of new people, and practice getting to know people". Phew! What a relief that change in my thought process was! So what did I do? I signed up for, of course. In the first week, I was emailing back and forth with about 10 guys. Some I was more interested in than others, but they all seemed like decent people that I wouldn't mind getting to know a little bit. Then there was Mr. Hunky. He had added me to his list of favorites. I hadn't even seen his profile in my own searches. I instantly liked his profile and wanted to meet him. I waited 4 days for him to email me and when he didn't, I emailed him. And he emailed me back and mentioned talking on the phone. I gave him my number. He called the next night. We talked for over an hour. He asked me out for that Saturday. We went, we drank, we dined, we laughed, we talked, we danced, we talked, and we talked, and we talked...until 4:00 in the morning. And he slept at my house--which is very dangerous on a 1st date but neither of us realized that until after the fact. Very foolish on our parts, but hey-we're still alive. We walked to Snooze the next morning for breakfast. It was a marathon date and I loved every minute of it. It's been a couple of months now and I still have a blast with him and we still talk for hours. Mr. Hunky is a single dad and has only been divorced for 3 months--not long, I know. It's scary being at different places on our post-divorce journeys but it's definitely making me take a step back and think instead of just diving in based on my feelings. Okay, I dove in really quickly based on my feelings and now I'm being better about thinking realistically and taking things day by day. Trying to be clear here. Don't want to sound like I've got it all together, because I definitely don't!

So, you know, new career path, new relationship, newly a full-time single mom (again). Lots of new! Which is very fun, a little bit scary, and pretty exciting. Oh gosh, Brothers & Sisters is on. I'd better go!


weavermom said...

Good to see you blogging again! :) And good to get an update on what's up with you. Can't wait to hear more! :)

Dena said...

how fun and great timing on my part - i just decided to start blogging again as well - i was looking back at old blogs and forgot how good it felt to read everyone elses and how much i learned about myself through them!

welcome back