Saturday, May 12, 2012

This an awesome post about how God is asking me to spend time blogging/vlogging but I have no idea what to say.

I have an awful lot of thoughts swirling around in my head and my heart. And by awful, I mean awful. Too much. I can't make sense of them. What am I supposed to do with them? Take them with me to Bolivia, meet my Compassion boy, and start a movement?


But probably not right now.

Do I talk about being a single mom? Or maybe our experience with traditional school and my choice to leave it behind and begin free-schooling? Or maybe I should talk about my frequent questioning and criticism of Christian culture...of all the ways we think we're glorifying God but we're really missing the point. Or hey!! I could talk about eating whole, organically grown, local food and the health benefits...not to mention the local economic benefits. Also, I could talk about the rise and fall and rise of my relationship with doubt creeps in and then God holds me while I work my way back to faith. Fascinating. Yes? No.

Because everything's a rumble-jumble in my mind. Swirling, driving me to wish I was as focused and eloquent as Sarah Bessey and Rachel Held Evans. And aha...there it is. My enemy, envy. Pride. Perfectionism.

Those things could (and have) keep me from obeying God. I don't know why He wants me to put my thoughts on my blog. I mean, who wants to reads the random thoughts of a normal single girl?

I guess that's the trouble with hearing from God. He knows the outcome but I don't. I may never know the outcome.

So anyway, here's my first random post about nothing. Hope you enjoyed it. Or didn't, which is more likely.

1 comment:

Shelley Martinkus said...

I enjoyed it!! Made me feel more normal! Keep up the great work!!