Saturday, February 13, 2016

A Lenten Experiment/Practice

I struggle with black and white thinking. I find ambiguity perplexing. I prefer knowing what is right and what is wrong over something in the middle. I also really like being right because I've grown up believing that my value is directly related to how smart (or right) I am.

And it's beginning to wear on me. I feel like social media (namely, Facebook) has perpetuated the idea that there is one right/best way to think about/feel about/do/not do pretty much everything, following Christ absolutely included. Reading the Bible included. Worshiping included. Community included. All of it.

And I'm so tired. I think my brain has been fried like an egg on the sidewalk in Dallas in August from all the segregation and accusation that I'm trying to keep up with. My first reaction to this brain-friedness is to cancel all of my social media accounts and go live somewhere that has no access to the internet and just BE FREE. So, basically, a black and white approach to eradicating black and white thinking. So, yeah, probably not a good resort.

There's a time for critical-thinking and it's important that we learn this skill and apply it to our faith on an on-going basis. I didn't learn this skill growing up and so I've had to learn it as an adult. I believe it is an essential part of identifying injustice and following Jesus instead of tradition. But often it is used to make us feel superior to others (or everyone) and that is damaging to our own souls and to the body of Christ.

So. I've decided to spend this time of Lent reading and listening to those in the "camps" I generally disagree with. Theologically, I'm a free-will theist and egalitarian. I'll become a student of those who aren't.

My prayer during these 40 days is that I will be open to learning and growing from them with the hope of becoming more unified with them as believers and less segregated. And most of all, an increase of humility in my spirit and heart.

I may or may not write about it consistently here. I'll be filling my journal with what I'm learning and will try to get it onto to this blog so I can share it.

Here we go!


karl said...

love it~ and we are on similar trajectories! will be fun to compare some notes. the either/or vs both/and transition is not easy or always, in every circumstance possible but not a bad way to at least try to enter the world. blessings on you and your beautiful story!

Erin Szczerba said...

Thanks Karl! You are the master. :-)